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• Binding: Hardcover

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A comedy science fiction novel, featuring slow-witted detective Frank Burly. By John Swartzwelder, the author of "The Time Machine Did It", "Double Wonderful", and 59 episodes of The Simpsons.

• Sales Rank: #106312 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Kennydale Books
• Published on: 2006-04-12
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 158 pages

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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
The Novella Fella
By Mark Eremite
John Swartzwelder, notoriously reclusive Simpsons scribe, is known for penning some of that show's funniest and most culturally pointed episodes. He is capable of being absurd without succumbing to plot-driven idiocy and able to nestle high-brow-rising humor next to the goofiest of puns without skipping a beat. Few of the show's current writers can boast his kind of output, whether you're measuring it by episode or by how many gags he can fit into any given minute.

His books (four so far) don't try to follow coherency as much as his work on The Simpsons. Instead, he uses the medium as a forum for his stream-of-consciousness wise-cracking. Mass by volume, these slim tomes have the same silly density as his episodes, even if they sprawl ten times as much. For the most part, Swartzwelder sticks to the same basic formula that made his shows a success: a fat and idiotic central character gets into all manner of monkey-shines and comes out mostly unchanged. Instead of Homer, though, our main man is called Frank Burly.

THE TIME MACHINE DID IT
Frank Burly introduces us to his unlikely career as a private eye. Although his primary talents are screwing things up and getting beaten on a regular basis, he ends up with a fairly important case. A bum claims that he used to be a millionaire, but criminals with a time machine retroactively stole his wealth. Burly's in over his head (heck, this guy gets in over his head just trying to tie his shoes), but that doesn't stop him from barreling headfirst into the mystery and subsequently making it messier and harder to solve. Quickly written, hastily plotted, and genuinely funny, this is one of the few books I've ever read that's gotten me to laugh out-loud, and on a regular basis. 5 Stars. FAVORITE LINE: Frank Burly, on his imprisonment and torture by the criminals -- "I held up under all this pretty well. I was sleeping like a baby -- waking up every three hours screaming and crapping my pants."

DOUBLE WONDERFUL
Swartzwelder makes a mistake. Instead of one central character with the brains of a dusty cactus, he creates an entire town of them. The citizens of the Wild West town of Slackjaw are having economic troubles. Part of their problem is that the "wild" in their western town is missing; it's a pretty boring place, plus it exists in the shadows of the world-renowned Double Wonderful ranch, run by a wealthy couple who are so perfect, God owes them favors. They try desperately to bring fame and/or notoriety to their little corner of the world, but most of their ideas are pretty lame (encourage bandits to rob them, hang the mayor, etc.). They eventually get their wish, and it's mildly amusing, but the scattered scope of the story's lunacy and its slap-dash conclusion are pretty harried. You won't laugh as much as you'll roll your eyes. Not bad; not great. Notable mainly because the story's central theme (the horrifying price of fame) gives you some real clues as to why Mr. Swartzwelder himself so adamantly chooses to stay out of the spotlight. 3 Stars. MOST SELF-REFERENTIAL LINE: "...Buntline said that short books were the best selling kind ... That's what the reading public wanted in a book these days, he said. They wanted to get as close as possible to not reading at all."

HOW I CONQUERED YOUR PLANET
Swartzwelder, catching on, brings Frank Burly back to the fore. He's still a private detective, he's still pretty bad at it, and he's still stumbling backwards into strange cases (and sometimes plate glass windows). This time the case may have something to do with Martians. Or maybe it's Neptunians. They're both very similar, as far as aliens look, although it's harder to pronounce the word "Neptunians." While going about his daily routine of getting in the way of things, Frank ends up alienating (nyuk, nyuk) all sorts of planetary species. And, of course, he conquers your planet. Not as consistent as "Time Machine," but much sharper than "Double Wonderful." 4 Stars. FAVORITE LINE: Frank Burly, on his new alien secretary -- "...I discovered that I had hired a surprisingly dedicated secretary, who listened in on my phone calls, patted down my visitors, looked through my desk for me each morning before I got in, even appeared in my dreams taking notes."

THE EXPLODING DETECTIVE
Frank Burly's back, this time augmenting his act with a mostly-malfunctioning jetpack. His inability to steer is overshadowed, however, by his ability to withstand multiple explosive collisions, and he becomes something of a superhero. The new title doesn't fit him so well, because it requires that he get up before noon and commit all kinds of acts, most of them selfless and painful. He ends up getting involved in a battle against a super villain, a washed up James Bond type, and another time machine. Although this book is as funny as the previous, it makes it obvious that, while Burly's adventures through time and space are all well and good, Swartzwelder might do well to actually keep his gags confined to the realm of detective work. I doubt it took the man longer than a couple of days to write any of these books, but this is the first time I felt it really showed. 4 Stars. FAVORITE LINE: Frank Burly has infiltrated a Secret Club for Super Villains, searching for his would-be assassin -- "I continued around the room ... making it sound like I was a new member who was just making conversation. "Have you been trying to kill me?" I would ask, casually. "I'm just curious. Or we could talk about the weather, if you like. The weather's been trying to kill me too.'"

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
The awesome power of stupid.
By J. R. Gray
Woody Allen said that 80% of success is showing up. In a cross between "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," "War of The Worlds," and "The Great Escape," Frank Burley has shown up again... to demonstrate the awesome power of stupid.

Burley is a detective, a bus driver, a general officer, an enforcer, a Martian recruit #775321 (and later prisoner # 775321), an escape artist and a fugitive. But he wins. Not by being the best, the brightest or most competent, but with greed, duplicity and deceit. "Magicians" put thoughts into the minds of the complacent and complicit public, as they are entertained into enslavement, while Burley the stupid is promoted to "Triple-Double General" by the Martian invaders (besting "Triple Admiral Swartzwelder" in the Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror XIV" episode).

As traitor to the human race, Burley's struggles with whether he is "still the good guy" are not very convincing. He claims he was just following orders, and argues that because he is incompetent, he is unable to make a living wage. So when a war pops up, he goes to war because war will make things better for us all. If this sounds stupid, you can blame it all on the hissing Arthur Gremlin - the "someone else" we humans always blame for our own inherent evil.

"How I Conquered Your Planet" is a quick funny read. Deceptively clever, it's full of Swartzwelder observations like: "There's something about being in the back that brings out the worst in people." To learn everything there is to know about brain washing, how to be a successful leader in at least two different species, and how to treat amnesia, you must read this book!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
How I Spent Two Hours And Had Some Laughs...Some
By K. Swanson
3.5 stars

I've now read two Swartzwelder books today and will probably read another this evening; perhaps that one will be as superlative as his Simpsons episodes. He does get marks for brevity, in any case.

Here's why: as much as I love the guy's endless stream of wordplay and twisting of cliches and maxims, that's really all there is. For me truly great comedy in a novel comes from depth of character and watching it morph and develop. This book has next to none of that; there's one central figure and all the rest are merely skeletons to hang jokes on.

Most of what I said about Double Wonderful applies here, though this book does have more amusement within. But yet again I found myself getting bored and waiting for it all to end, despite the oft-funny lines. It just felt like a stand-up routine that took two hours (which it did to read, barely a long short story at the price of a novel) and should have ended in one. The story, such as it is, seems there merely to set up one joke after another, and has little to no power or engaging arc of its own.

From the other reviews of this and JS's other books, I am clearly in the minority when it comes to judging him not necessarily a constant genius. For his Simpsons work, I say yea, verily; but from this and DW I would say, a very funny wit but hardly a truly fine writer. Could be my fault; I do wish I was laughing uncontrollably like the other reviewers! Maybe I just don't get it. Time to read the other two JS books I picked up and hope for more.

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"Straight Talk on Process Validation" clears up the confusion concerning process validation by providing a simple step-by-step approach for an organization to follow to ensure an effective implementation of process validation. This book includes several examples, written at various levels, which delineate the details of process validation of actual processes.

• Sales Rank: #459229 in eBooks
• Published on: 2012-11-07
• Released on: 2012-11-07
• Format: Kindle eBook

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Must have book if you are involved in IQ, OQ, PQ !!
By Jaime Alvarez
Having been involved in validations & Quality Technology Systems like FMEA and SPC, for the past few years and having worked in the injection molding industry I wanted to thoroughly understand the validation process for the medical industry. I found Bob's book on this topic to be exactly what I was looking for. He has brought out the essence of validation clearly with his lucidly written text. We have been offering our FMEA software predominantly to the automotive industry. The detailed treatment given to FMEA in this book has highlighted the needs of the medical industry very clearly. It identifies well with what we have been offering the industry. The book also helped me understand what the FDA requirements are. These are usually not clearly understood by non-US companies. I highly recommend this book to those who would want to understand this subject.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Straight Talk on Process Validation
By Brent Borgerson
The authors present process validation (PV) in an easy to understand format. Since PV is, or should be a result of a cross-functional team effort, the book can be understood by people who are not statisticians.
An excellent training resource.

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• Sales Rank: #1118926 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Hay House UK
• Published on: 2012-06-04
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.50" h x .60" w x 5.32" l, .70 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 240 pages

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• Used Book in Good Condition

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Get yourself a copy now, and prepare for your finances to rocket. Soul & Spirit magazine

About the Author
Laura Leigh Clarke is a coach and speaker who helps forward-thinking individuals find their financial flow, and create results in their personal finances or businesses that they never believed possible. She speaks regularly to audiences around the UK at various events, from business groups to inspirational gatherings,and is regularly featured in the U.K. media. Audiences always comment on how warm, empathetic and insightful she is as a speaker. At repeat venues, Laura leaves the audience astounded at how she always has something new and interesting to share, helping individuals to create massive shifts on the spot.

Most helpful customer reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Really Explains a Lot!
By Marie-Therese Hernon
Laura Leigh Clarke's Wire Yourself For Wealth is probably the most helpful (and easily understandable) book I've read about finances and releasing the limiting beliefs and emotions that prevent us from achieving our full income potential. The section about personal money profiles explained things in such a way that I thought, "Of course! It makes perfect sense. Why did I not know this?"

A bonus of the book is access to several of her short audios, one of which is designed to reprogram the subconscious. I look forward to listening to it every day (she doesn't insist that anyone listen every day; I just want to get all I can out of it). She has a lovely voice, which makes it a pleasure.

The chapters about how we inadvertently resist what we want are powerful. Clarke shows readers how to identify particular emotions or beliefs that cause resistance and how to release them, freeing the emotional system to allow more desirable circumstances.

I'm afraid to put this book on a shelf. Better to keep it where I can see it at all times, lest I forget its lessons and fall back into my old patterns!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Folks, Looking for a breakthrough in creating wealth???? READ this Book!
By Robin Spence
Hello,
I picked up this book because I was stifled and frustrated with not earning the money I expected in my business. After finishing the book and completing the POWERFUL exercises, I realized that I had found the answer to why I was not as successful as I had hoped and dreamed of being not only when working for others, but in building my own business. I now have a clear understanding of where my Money Genius lies and what I can do create "flow" in my life and work to be AND feel successful. Love the fact that she provides a path forward, with next steps and keen insights. I found her style thoughtful, fun, interesting and very approachable.

I cannot stress how important it is to be actively engaged with this book. Do the work, take your time, complete the exercises and be open to transforming your relationship to money and wealth.

If you have been wondering what is stopping you or how you can be even more successful in your job and business, I highly encourage you to buy and do the exercises in this book! I've never met Laura Leigh Clarke, but the impact her book has had on my view of myself with respect to wealth has instilled confidence that I can truly make money in my business and for that I will be eternally grateful. I especially found the "Self Esteem" exercised eye opening and affirming.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
an absolute must to get into your money flow
By Ms K. Knight
I read this book as I was asked to give a review - and being the type of person I am - I wanted to give a full and honest review - so I threw myself into this book and I am so glad I did!

This book has the power to unlock you and unstick you, and genuinely could change your life - if you allow it to.

I was stuck in a rut - couldn't move forwards - no matter how many stern talking's to I gave myself, no matter how many sticks of dynamite I placed in certain places - I was stuck. Why? Because I wasn't in my flow. I was trying to swim upstream against a raging glacial rapid.

Once I did the money profile test, once I realised what my profile was and where my strengths and weaknesses lie - (I'm a creative by the way...) light bulbs went on at a rate of knots and many more pieces of the puzzle came together. This discovery was then beautifully balanced in the book with a degree of naval gazing and the unearthing of mental saboteurs that can hold you back. Once identified, Laura leads you through simple exercises so you can evict them for good.
I now feel ready to move forward, I would even go so far as to say I'm actually energised about the prospect, admittedly it's going to be in a slightly different direction to the one I had dreamt of - but one I know will mean I'm happier, I'll feel more fulfilled, it will bring me more wealth on many different levels and I'll be in my flow. No more glacial rapids for me.

I cannot stress how important it is that you don't just read this book - you need to interact with it - do the exercises, take the profile test, and really look at those unneeded and tatty bags of mental 'stuff' owned by your saboteur - you'll be glad you did.

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[W287.Ebook] Download PDF Find a career (Not just a Job), by M A Spiller

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M A Spiller is an multidisciplinary financial services professional, cross qualified in a number of areas having been an accountant for over thirty years with strong experience in the field and an enthusiastic research, training and advisory ethic. She is currently completing a PhD in business strategy, innovation and methods, whilst providing full-time advisory services in accounting, taxation, business structuring, financial planning and finance broking to a range of clients. In addition she has a strong interest in quality business systems and in achieving the best result possible in every situation. She has also lectured for a number of organizations, and enjoys promoting the profession wherever possible. Before embarking on a career in finance, she spent three years studying Engineering, only to realise that this was not the field for her. M A Spiller has written this book to help others find their ideal career, using the lessons she has learnt the hard way.

• Sales Rank: #2508386 in eBooks
• Published on: 2016-01-25
• Released on: 2016-01-25
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Great career advice
By M. Nielsen
I'd recommend this book to anyone. Whether you're at the start of your working life, or find yourself at a surprising crossroad. It provides a great framework to help you find the next step.

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[D494.Ebook] PDF Download The Truth About Evocation of Spirits (Truth About Series), by Donald Michael Kraig

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The Truth About Evocation of Spirits by Donald Michael Kraig reveals the real secrets of communicating with non-physical entities. You will find that many of the things you've seen in novels or movies aren't needed: no fancy apparatus, no hypnotic trances. With this small book, evoking spirits becomes something you can do.

You'll discover what evocation really is. You'll learn a bit about its history and why the ancient grimoires describing it are full of traps and things to waste your time. Here you will learn, step-by-step, everything you need to contact spirits described in ancient texts such as The Lesser Key of Solomon the King.

First, you'll need to prepare. This simply involves determining which spirit you wish to call, making a copy of its "sigil" (signature), and also constructing a place for it to appear: the Triangle of the Art. Then gather some common items such as candles, paper, and pen and, with the help of this book, you can do this magick!

When you have everything, you are ready to begin. Start with a banishing. Here you will find a complete version of the famous Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. Next, the seer inhales incense. This alters that person's consciousness so he or she is ready to see the entity. Then call on the entity according to the instructions given here.

Then you ask for information which is in the nature of the spirit to give. Or you can ask the entity you've evoked to do something that it is capable of doing. Of course, it is only fair to give something to the creature in return. That something is magical or spiritual energy. This book explains how you can create that energy and send it to the entity. Finally, you'll learn how to release the spirit you have evoked back to its home.

Never before has so much information been packed into such a small space. If you want to learn this ancient science, get your copy today!

• Sales Rank: #2420129 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Llewellyn Publications
• Published on: 1951-01-08
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: .19" h x 4.26" w x 6.88" l,
• Binding: Paperback
• 64 pages

Features

• Used Book in Good Condition

From the Publisher
I have been involved with magick for many years. I still have many of my magical tools: altars, wands, etc. One of the things I discovered over the years is that in many cases the tools are simply methods to trigger your "deep mind" and help you achieve your magical goals. Real magick can use them, but doesn't require them.

This information needs to be made available to everyone. It's what I call the "democratization of magick." That's one of the reasons I like The Truth About Evocation of Spirits by Donald Michael Kraig.

Without eliminating the basics, Don has presented the very essence of what evocation is. It's not painted circles and reading long chants. It is you — being confident, knowledgable, and capable — using your abilities to contact non-physical beings. Do these spirits exist or are they just part of you subconscious? It's revealed here that it doesn't matter — the entities still do the same things. Since they function as if they are separate from you they may as well be treated that way.

I also like that this book takes you step-by-step through the process of evocation. You will learn everything you need to know to do evocations. Now, frankly, this is not a process you can learn overnight. There are some things you will need to practice (such as banishings), and some things you will need to buy (candles, a popular edition of a grimoire such as The Lesser Key of Solomon, and incense), some things you will need to find (pen and paper) or make (the Triangle of the Art where the spirit appears). Instructions for making the Triangle are included. While you are making this you can practice the techniques of the ritual. In no time you'll be successfully doing this ancient magick!

If you are ready to contact the denizens of the unseen worlds around you, this book is the place to start.

About the Author

Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy. He also studied public speaking and music (traditional and experimental) on the university level. After a decade of personal study and practice, he began ten years of teaching courses in the Southern California area on such topics as Kabalah, Tarot, Magic, Tantra, and Psychic Development. He was a member of many spiritual and magical groups and was an initiated Tantric.

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The author gives the most generic and easily findable information
By chris
Do NOT BUYReally. with a small Google search you canevind more then this book has to offer

very p small no nothing book. Re hashes the base line knowledge of literally any golden dawn system.

The author gives the most generic and easily findable information.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Small Booklet
By KnightReader
The description is accurate. It does describe the European tradition of evocation of spirits. I got what I paid for. It is nothing more and nothing less.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Great publication
By Mindbody Storm
This publication provides an in depth understanding of what the art of magick and evocation/invocation is all about. It does a great job in distinguishing the truths from the falsehoods that the media and hollywood make the masses believe. The author does a good job in bringing out that this art is ancient and as well is beneficial for any individual. This goes for the mental/spiritual/as well as physical well being.

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The second edition of this successful textbook is fully updated to include the discovery of the Higgs boson and other recent developments, providing undergraduate students with complete coverage of the basic elements of the standard model of particle physics for the first time. Physics is emphasised over mathematical rigour, making the material accessible to students with no previous knowledge of elementary particles. Important experiments and the theory linked to them are highlighted, helping students appreciate how key ideas were developed. The chapter on neutrino physics has been completely revised, and the final chapter summarises the limits of the standard model and introduces students to what lies beyond. Over 250 problems, including sixty that are new to this edition, encourage students to apply the theory themselves. Partial solutions to selected problems appear in the book, with full solutions and slides of all figures available at www.cambridge.org/9781107050402.

• Sales Rank: #474102 in eBooks
• Published on: 2014-02-13
• Released on: 2014-06-18
• Format: Kindle eBook

Review
"I liked the first edition very much, and used it for my classes. I like the second edition even better ... Best of all, for the current version, there are some timely additions, most notably the discovery of the Higgs boson and an expanded chapter on neutrino oscillations ... Let us hope that Run 2 at the LHC will necessitate the writing of a third edition of this wonderful book."
James W. Rohlf, CERN Courier

"... [this] volume is complemented by ... exhaustive online material on the Cambridge University Press website, addressed and reserved to physics teachers: solutions of all the problems and exercises appearing throughout the volume ... and a series of colourful PowerPoint slides for each chapter, containing key figures and basic plots. This novel feature of the second edition makes [the book] even more attractive ... [it] deserves [to be] more and more widely adopted in all our universities."
L. Cifarelli, Il Nuovo Saggiatore

"What is special about this book is that it requires very little effort for the [reader] to like it. It is very well presented and ... goes out of its way - or rather the author goes out of his - to be friendly and (relatively) easy, bearing in mind that elementary particle physics is, by a long shot, not. ... this book can readily be used by true beginners lacking or without prior background in the subject."
B. Ishak, Contemporary Physics

About the Author
Alessandro Bettini is Emeritus Professor of Physics at the University of Padua, Italy, where he has been teaching experimental, general and particle physics for forty years. An experimentalist in subnuclear physics for the Italian National Institute for Nuclear Physics (INFN), he is presently the Director of the Canfranc Underground Laboratory in Spain.

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2 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Paul C.
Well written and excellent graphics.

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